Every birthday my family always asks.......
So, how does it feel to be ________________?(fill in the blank)
I always say that it doesn't feel any different. Even though you might expect to feel different on certain (special) years like your 16th or 18th birthdays.
Now I have a lot of people asking me, how does it feel to be almost done with school?
I tell them, "it hasn't hit me yet". I still feel nothing. Am I suppose to feel something? I hear some kids at school saying they are sad and how much they will miss high school. Well, I won't . I mean there will definitely be some people I will miss but high school really sucked for me.
So, while I was waiting and counting down the days to graduation I felt something, but not what you would expect. I felt stressed and scared to death that something terrible would happen to me that day. So badly that I was thinking about not going and just having my diploma mailed to me. I thought for sure that I would trip walking up to the stage, I worried that people might "boo" me. I worried I might look silly in my cap and gown. Well, nothing embarrassing happened to me; and there were literally over 300 people wearing the same outfit. My sister, Danielle, was literally by my side, receiving her diploma as well. We are 18 months apart and thanks to my getting held back; we are in the same grade.
Later that night, I felt something. I felt relieved that this long awaited day was finally over. I could breathe again. My worries that were in the back of my mind every day had disappeared. It will feel great to be responsible for myself at work again. No more job coach every day, no more Special Ed. classes.
So, now when people ask me how it feels to be out of high school I say "good". I feel like I am ready for the real world, I am looking forward to working. I don't feel like anything about myself has changed but I feel like the way people see me will change.