Adulting 7/18/24

Remember being little and pretending to be a "grown up".... we all did, right?

We played in pretend kitchens with baby dolls and went to a "job" - such fun.

Well, I can officially say pretending was a lot more fun than actually "adulting".

I recently turned 30 and was thinking back to when I first came to Albany and could not wait for my "independence". I was 21 and was so excited to be "on my own". I was not (really) on my own - yet.

For the first 2 years in my program, I lived in off campus housing in an apartment with a roommate and several other "housemates." We lived in 2 other apartments in an older renovated house. After that, I moved to a beautiful apartment - again with a roommate. 

I bounced around my complex and lived by myself for another 2 years in another apartment, kind of far away from other units. It was a depressing little corner of the complex and my neighbors were not all warm and fuzzy.

I found myself moving once again, on my own, to another apartment that is super close to all the things my complex has to offer. Now I have the best neighbors!

It took me until my late 20's to realize that this whole being a "responsible adult" is exhausting and gives me anxiety!

The young girl who was too shy to order food at a restaurant or over the phone has had to get over that and get stuff done. 

I am in charge of making my doctors appointments - and more stressful than that - I need to figure out my transportation to get to those appointments.

If I don't put "stuff", laundry or groceries away - guess what? 

When I wake up from the nap I took, because these things stressed me out - they are all still there!! No "fairies" came in and cleaned up for me (like the good ol' days) 

Actually, I'm not sure if (21 year old me) really "understood" what "independence" meant when I was dreaming of moving out of my parents' house. 

The vision in my head: DOING WHAT I WANT!

Reality: I need to make sure I go to work to pay the rent. I need to keep my home clean. I need to make sure I have groceries. I need to make healthy foods. I need to get laundry done. I need to be in charge of handling my prescriptions. I need to keep myself ALIVE!  ha, ha ha. 

Being on my own is definitely not all bad - I have some of the most beautiful natural spots close to me to walk around and take photos at. 

There is always some kind of "event" happening downtown - lots of concerts, restaurants and fun things to do. (not so fun part - having to fit these "fun" things into my monthly budget) 

Just wanted to share some of my thoughts while I was busy trying to organize some things in my home. 

I never thought I would have the opportunities that I have been given and while it is difficult for me, and I do have "meltdowns" every now and then - it is worth it. Every once in a while, I think about moving back downstate to be closer to family and Luis. I know that this is an option and I will seriously think about it when the time is right. 

Right now, Albany is my home - it is where I have established a routine and purpose and I am comfortable. 

 I have proven to MYSELF that I am stronger than I thought!

Any "littles" out there with 22q or not - don't be in such a hurry! Be a kid!

Let someone take care of you- Its true, you don't appreciate what you have until its gone!