Taking the Public Bus
It’s not like I don’t have enough stress in my everyday life but to add to it I recently began taking a bus to get me back and forth to work and I hate it! Most people probably would not mind taking this kind of bus. It’s not a big public bus that I would have to wait for at a stop - it’s a small transit bus that comes to my house and drops me off right at work. Door to door service. We applied for this service because honestly I could not handle waiting on a main road or needing to know what route I am supposed to be taking. Believe me, I get crazy enough waiting in my living room everyday - Here are some reasons why the bus stresses me out:
1. The bus NEVER comes at the same time every day - I know that is because sometimes other people are on the same route as me. Even though I understand that it still gets me nervous. I have been left hanging for 15 or 20 minutes. When a person has anxiety and can’t tell time this is a big deal. It seems like forever. I don’t want to be late.
2. I use cash each day to pay because I don’t have a pre-paid ticket yet.
I hate using cash - my mom says I have to. I can’t rely on my debit card forever.
3. When I first started taking transportation, the drivers would actually ask me directions. Are you kidding? If I knew where to go, I wouldn’t need the bus would I?
4. I have been brought “home” to the wrong house. Same street and house number, different town.
5. Most recently, after a week of the bus being late and one day forgetting me at work, I did not want to take the bus. My mom said I had to. It is all about being more independent everyone keeps telling me. Would we let you take the bus if we thought it was that bad? Even though I kept telling everyone how much I hate it and how much stress it causes me, once again, there I am on the bus. This time the ride was going fine until I heard strange noises and the bus felt weird. The driver pulled over and told me she felt the bus wasn’t safe to drive. Well, that’s all I had to hear. I freaked out. I wanted off that thing! I really felt like we were going to blow up or something. I tried to call my mom to tell her what was going on but then I realized my phone was stuck in “airplane mode”, really are you kidding me? The driver saw how panicked I was and offered me her cell phone. I called my mom and told her where we were stuck and asked her to come and get me. She just happened to be out with my aunt. They came to get me and brought me to work. I felt bad leaving the driver like that but at the same time I was like, “save yourself!” The driver wound up getting a replacement bus sent. It was so weird that just that morning my parents were telling me how I had to take the bus. That they couldn’t drive me to work every day. I guess they believed me when they saw how freaked out I was. But, like getting thrown off a horse, the next day I had to get back on again. So far, I have not had any more (major) problems.
I still hate taking it but the interesting part is that I am seeing more (adults) with disabilities. It’s weird to me because all I have ever known is school. I never actually saw anybody in their daily lives like me. I don’t feel like I stand out as much and I have to say I am actually impressed by how many people with disabilities are living in apartments on their own and taking trains to the city and things like that. I hope to be that independent one day. Baby steps. I have taken this bus to a local mall with a friend from work to have lunch and shop. I was very happy with myself.